Another secret

It was break time when a friend told me that I am always so happy, seems never having any problem. I’m also the one who always says “Cheer up, bb” to every single beloved friend who is sad. But I just can’t do it to myself. I’m also not the kind of easy to cry, I’m pretty good on holding my deepest emotion, my ego, so people never know how I feel. I tend to be someone who always happy.

But it breaks now. Even for holding my tears, I can’t. It’s been pretty long I never cry. This tear is dedicated for uncountable depression, pressure, and frustration. It is just beginning by one small problem, but it broke the entire thing that I had held up. I just, tired on myself being so this tries hard to be looks so though. I had so much pressuring problem, and too much demanding because the influence some people I take relation with.

I'm tired, but my journey still long to go. This is the path that I should take, God’s fate. God never gives me too much that I can’t handle off. I’m also not an open person, I tend to keep it myself, even I can’t, and even it frustrated me. I tend to grow become someone who not believe my around, but trust a stranger. It hurt me much, more than people think about hurt because of your recently super beloved bf/gf. It hurt me long lasting, never stop. I got too say, it psychologically hurt me. Seems like something take over my heart and make me always worry. I believe that every single people have it’s own problem, and I just can’t be this spoil. I should stand along, everything should be move on.

But crying is not bad, somehow I feel like just telling Allah all the things that I had frustrated about. And it feels better. Keep guarding me Allah, take me on Your best path. Amin.