Live wisely

Today is the epitome of this week's hecticness and tiredness. Been crying like a baby and finally fall in sleep, like it was anonymous. I miss home and last night call should be a sweet thing between mom and daughter but i dont know, i began to cry and cant stop. It was a simple call, like the previous one. I know how she loves me like truly loves me and show how she cares and afraid on me for having on the wrong society. So I first like she judges too far but then I try to down my ego and I do realize It is just a simple matter of how you protect the one you love, like every mother in the world would do. I just like, I gone to far and cant think properly in the case of being busy. I am deciding all matter without thinking so that deep, I want to be like everything should be decided by now, but Allah seems not permit it. This past days, i do realize that my iman is like decreasing. I placed this far with Allah, not to blame anything just me who cant manage to do. I did busy by past day by I did need Allah in this position. To strengthened me, to help me deciding, to make me sure. I do less in asking, less in praying, less in being ikhlas. Like i didnt lay on everysingle stuff on me to Allah. I do being too ambitious, being to high on making standard to my self, being too selfish for only thinking about me. I should begin to rearrange my self, in this new block. I should lay everything on Allah again now, being nice to another people, helping each other, and think positively. Take me back Ya Allah :(

I do remember how my father only talk one two things to me, like he said

"Kalau sempet, baca bismillah 1000x mbak atau sholat hajatnya dirutinkan. Minimal baca ayat terakhir QS Ali Imran 173 atau ayat terakhir surat at taubah, didzikirin"

Khasbunalloh wa nikmal wakiil,

"Cukup Allah menjadi penolong kami dan Allah adalah sebaik-baik pelindung"